Are we emotionally somehow deficient?
Why are we ok with seeing our patients pass...
Not ok but just take it in...
Some of my friends tell me that I am blessed to take care of cancer patients, some say I must have some sort of a strong heart to continue to take care of cancer patients.
I always felt that I am privileged to and that I am grateful to take care of those who are dying.
Even when I was a floor nurse I felt privileged to take care of leukemia and lymphoma patients tents going to through treatments and bone marrow transplants; to take care of them at their most feared hours and at their most vulnerable times.
They tell you their life stories, their dreams, their regrets, their happiness and just being them.
I love all of that and am still grateful that they are able to share those with me.
And I learn life from all of the talking and sharing.
Every time a patient passes, I have several emotional thoughts.
Every time a patient passes, I have several emotional thoughts.
Certainly, sadness of a life being lost, a relief that we (patient and me) are free of the what felt like an endless battle is over and that patient and their loved ones are freed from painful decisions and endless discussions. also a split moment of confusion, wondering why I do this everyday but I cannot find a perfect answer.
Working through these thoughts, I always come to the conclusion again that I am humbled and feel grateful for the previlege of taking care of sick patients. And I hope that I have done a good job.
